"Indian Political Viruses" joke
The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.
Better beware of them.
P. V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before
executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times
and finally does nothing.
V. P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used
instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions.
This virus is also known as social justice virus.
Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and
then executes them.
Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were
written by vegetarians or animals.
L. K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can
continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times.
K. P. S. Gill Virus:
Only ladies need to worry about this virus. Every now and then the
users get a whack, you know where.
Phoolan Devi Virus:
This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page
faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU*s
Deve Gowda Virus:
The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all
the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request
for resources, and allocates them irrespective of whether they are
available or not.
This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus
family grab as much of hard disk space as possible, while the main virus is
totally unaware of it. When everything stops working, this virus
blames the user for the whole chaos.
I. K. Gujral Virus:
Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the
approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses
blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not
execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always,
this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all
major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the
This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and
releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but
Laloo Yadav virus:
A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the
data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation, it will rename
its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus
takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning.
Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only
task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by
sending conflicting signals to different hardware units.
Sonia Gandhi Virus:
Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can
detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people
use Bofors scanner for temporary protection.
It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination
amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority
resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it.
Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.
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