Yawn Jokes / Recent Jokes

(Long pause, sound of phone dropping, sleepy voice:) Argh! (Pause.) Hello... (Sound of phone dropping, then a yawn.) Sorry man... I'm a bit tired at the moment... (Long yawn.) I'm going back to sleep now... Just going to switch the answering machine on...

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What? , and get bitten!

These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI magazine:
Grand Prize Winner:
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always
lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of
a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat
array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Runners-up:
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an
infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will
eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This
pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must
yawn to even it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because more...

4th RunnerUp
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
3rd RunnerUp
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet. The lack of an alphabet means the Chinese cannot use acronyms; thus, they cannot communicate their ideas at a faster rate.
2nd RunnerUp
The 'Why Yawning Is Contagious' Theory: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it all out.
1st RunnerUp
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
HONORABLE MENTION:
The more...

Q: Why is yawning contagious?
A: People yawn when the pressure between their ears is different from that of the outside pressure. The yawning pops the ears and thus balances the inside and outside pressure. Because of the balancing there is a perceptible drop or increase in the surrounding room pressure. And if at this moment there is another person present in the vicinity of the yawning person, this change in room pressure will cause him to yawn to balance his in-between-ear pressure to that of the room pressure. Thus the cycle goes on till the inside-ear-pressure of all the persons and that of the room pressure is equal. But since every time someone yawns, there is a change in room pressure causing some one else to yawn, the cycle never ends... UNLESS all the people in the room yawn at the same time. Since the probability of all the people yawning at the same time is very low, the yawning goes on and on, leading us to believe that yawning is contagious.