Rate Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
    are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. more...

    You work very odd hours.You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.You are not proud of what you do.Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.It's difficult to have a family.You have no job satisfaction.If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.Your pimp more...

    Two nuns

    Hot 6 years ago

    There were two nuns...
    One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
    It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
    SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
    SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
    SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
    SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
    SM: It's not working.
    SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
    SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
    SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
    So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
    Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister more...

    Company Cars

    Hot 3 years ago

    travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
    accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
    enjoy a much shorter braking distance.
    have a much tighter turning cycle.
    can take ramps at three times the speed of private cars.
    don't need battery, oil, water or tyre pressures checking.
    have floors shaped like an ashtray.
    only burn petrol with the highest Green Shield stamp rate.
    do not need garaging at night.
    can be driven for up to 100 miles with the oil warning light flashing.
    need cleaning less often, especially inside.
    have stronger suspensions to carry concrete slabs or other heavy building materials.
    are adapted to allow reverse gear to be engaged whilst the car is still moving forwards.
    have improved tyre walls to allow bumping into and over high kerb stones.
    have good adjustable radio volume controls to eliminate unusual and alarming engine noises.
    don't need securing. They can be left anywhere unlocked and with the keys in the more...

    A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up to an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
    "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.
    "I don't care, just do something about those drivers!"
    So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING
    Three days later, the farmer called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go faster."
    So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
    And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and called and called every day for more...

  • Recent Activity