Wax Jokes / Recent Jokes
In medieval europe- sometime in the 1300's- there were
monastaries that made wax candles
One monotonous day, a brother monk, as he was in the process of
making his candles, began to feel a bit squeemish as he had
never been with a lady.
So the monk slipped out his pee pee and proceded to masturbate.
Many other monks witnessed what he was doing and began feeling
a tad bit squeemish themselves. Many of the fellow monks also
pulled out their wankers and proceded to giz into the wax.
Before they knew it, candle making became the newest hobby around
the monistary.
Eventually the monks were caught, and were charged with being
heretics by the inquisition- no true believer in God would ever
try to seek earthly pleasures... so all were tortured to death.
Meanwhile, the candles, that were made by the monks in the
nearby monastary, were distributed all over Europe.
It was just around that same time that a terrible more...
Good Girls - Bad Girls
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love italian food...
Bad more...
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what’s for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl’s man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don’t wear any.
Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it’s hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls
know they could do better
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss... Bad girls never do either, unless he’s very, very rich.
Good girls believe they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls... Bad girls believe that they are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love Italian food... Bad girls love Italian waiters.
Good girls prefer the more...
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn`t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below. The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin` good" came out as "eat your more...
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"... Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?" Good girls never go after another girl's man... Bad girls go after him AND his brother. Good girls wear white cotton panties... Bad girls don't wear any. Good girls wax their floors... Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot... Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls make chicken for dinner... Bad girls make reservations. Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies... Bad girls know they could do better. Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss... Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich. Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls... Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls. Good girls love italian food... Bad girls love italian waiters.
1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".
2. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had a use for the "manure stick".
3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
4. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't more...
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off." The American more...