Waste Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. How to get rid of nuclear waste:
Sending nuclear waste into the sun is expensive, because of the amount of
energy expended in getting it out of Earth's gravity well, which is most
probably more energy than was obtained from the fuel in the first place.
The best way to get rid of nuclear waste is to put it on the government
surplus list. People will bid on anything if they think they are getting
a good deal. And as for the damage it will cause, frankly do you really
care what happens to people stupid enough to buy something that is clearly
marked "Hazardous Nuclear Waste?"
2. How to fund private space concerns:
This is a twofold problem: first the difficulty with Congress, and second
the lack of funding. Both these problems can be solved in one simple
manner. Make slavery legal again. All the work on the Constitution has
already been done; you merely need repeal the Emancipation Proclamation.
Now, since congressmen more...

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."
"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral Of The Story: You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just more...

All the parts of the body where having a meetin, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge" said the barin, "becouse I run all the body's system, and without me, nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge" said the blood,"because I circulates oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
I should be in charge,"said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
I should be in charge" said the legs," because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
I should be in charge" said the eyes,"because I allow the body to see where it goes."
I should be in charge,"said the rectum, because I'm responsible for waste rectum and all the other body parts laughed at the recum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the barin had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, thelegs got more...

A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25, 000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.

A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell. By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10, 000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He more...

Bujji's parents are in states and Bujji is with hsi grand parents. One day Bujji asked his grand father, Grandpa, let us go to Ramoji film city to day. It is expensive. Next month your dad will come. You ask him Then let me have an ice ream. You will catch cold Let us go to a movie Not now Grandpa you are a waste candidate. Grand mother murmured in the kitchen, very good my boy, I have taken 33 years to realsie the fact you have realised at the age of 5.

There were 3 men having soup together in a restaurant. One was white, the others were Asian and Jewish. They all found out that there was a fly in each of their soups. The white guy was horrified and called the waiter to replace the soup. The Asian guy saw what the white guy did, and said "such a waste of food." He then spooned out the fly and threw it away. The Jewish guy saw what both men did, and said "Such a waste of food." He then picked the fly up with his fingers, squeezed the soup out of it and sucked it, then threw it away.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people" -- Former U. S. Vice-President Dan Quayle"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers." The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." -- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." -- Former U. S. President Calvin Coolidge"It's like deja more...