Waste Jokes

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    A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash.
    He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell. By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he more...

    If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

    1. How to get rid of nuclear waste:
    Sending nuclear waste into the sun is expensive, because of the amount of
    energy expended in getting it out of Earth's gravity well, which is most
    probably more energy than was obtained from the fuel in the first place.
    The best way to get rid of nuclear waste is to put it on the government
    surplus list. People will bid on anything if they think they are getting
    a good deal. And as for the damage it will cause, frankly do you really
    care what happens to people stupid enough to buy something that is clearly
    marked "Hazardous Nuclear Waste?"
    2. How to fund private space concerns:
    This is a twofold problem: first the difficulty with Congress, and second
    the lack of funding. Both these problems can be solved in one simple
    manner. Make slavery legal again. All the work on the Constitution has
    already been done; you merely need repeal the Emancipation Proclamation.
    Now, since congressmen more...

    $25,000 Each

    Hot 3 years ago

    A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelops in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have
    enough money to enjoy the next life. A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and
    Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelop in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.
    By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelop he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their
    forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelop, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He more...

    All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
    The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
    "I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."
    "I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
    "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."
    All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
    The moral of the story?
    You don't have to be smart or important to be in more...

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