Violets Jokes / Recent Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe' go to hell.'

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
and so are you
But the roses are wiltered
the violets are dead
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head!

There once was a farmer who took a young miss
Out back of the barn where he gave her a...
Lecture on horses and cattle and eggs
And told she had the most wonderful...
Manners that suited a girl of her charms
A girl that he wanted to take in his...
Washing and ironing and then if she did
They could get married and raise lots of...
Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with sweet violets
The girl told the farmer that he better quit
Then she called her father and he took a...
Taxi and got there before very long
'Cause someone was treating his little girl...
Right for a change and so that's why he said
If you marry my daughter, you're better off...
Single, for son it has always been my belief
That marriage will bring a man nothing but...
Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with sweet violets

Need help coming up with that perfect ditty for your better (or worse) half? Perhaps these will help inspire you!
-These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, cause I was pissed
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you more...

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.