Violets Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.
My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe' go to hell.'

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey!


Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit!


Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring up a friend
and try double entry!


Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
So's your Vaginer!


Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.


Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just come
Pass me a hanky.


Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
'Cause here comes my willy!


Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your top
And show us your tits.


Roses make me laugh
Violets make me bitter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter.

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song "Sweet Violets" This is a crude take off on it... (p.s. - this is similar to Gizzers 'Sweet Violets' #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!)
There was a young farmer who lived on a rock
He liked to count sheep while he fingered his...
Marbles and toys as in days of old yore
And for a companion he had a young...
Maiden whose passion was playing with dolls
She told him she wanted to nuzzle his...
Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets
The farmer was pleased with all of his luck
She claimed that she'd show him a new way to...
Bring up the children and teach them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling...
Hay from the stables and filling the rick
He told her he'd let her grab hold of his...
Long middle finger which had a slight rash
To soothe it he jammed it right into more...

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face.
I wish I were in outer space.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe' go to hell.'