Romantic Jokes

(Age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
(Age 32)
1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
4. Listens more then he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers anniversaries
10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week
(Age 42)
1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punch line of more...

Tell me something, girl. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?

JIFFY CONDOM COMPANY
6969 Slippery Root Drive
Droptrouser, NC 22269
Dear Sir,
We regret to inform you that we have rejected your recent application
to model and represent our product, Jiffy Condoms.
Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our
Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product does not portray
a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose baggy wrinkled condom is
not considered romantic.
We did admire your efforts to firm it up using Poly-Grip, but even
then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like
to note however, that we have never seen a penis that looked like a bicycle
grip until now.
We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will
retain your application for future consideration, if by the chance we decide
that there is a market for Micro-Mini Condoms.
We send greetings and our deepest sympathy to your wife more...

5 secrets to romantic happiness
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.
5. It is important that these four men never meet

(Age 22)1. Handsome2. Charming3. Financially successful4. A caring listener5. Witty6. In good shape7. Dresses with style8. Appreciates the finer things9. Full of thoughtful surprises10. An imaginative, romantic lover(Age 32)1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head2. Opens car doors, holds chairs3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant4. Listens more then he talks5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease7. Owns at least one tie8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal9. Remembers anniversaries10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week(Age 42)1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking5. Usually remembers the punch line of jokes6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw top lids9. Remembers to put more...