Viagra Jokes / Recent Jokes
The boss of a small company called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the employer, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest, whose theme was "Viagra advertising slogans." Dividing into ten groups of three, the only rule was
they had to use past ad slogans that captured the essence of Viagra.
About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions, and created a Top Ten List." After all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone:
10. Viagra, it's "Whaazzzzzz up!"
9. Viagra. The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a [woman], but made for a more...
After much research and millions of dollars, our scientists have
discovered the secret ingredients to Viagra!
VIAGRA INGREDIENT LIST: (TopSecret!) 3% Vitamin E 2% aspirin 2%
ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C
...and... 92% Fix-A-Flat!
After much research and millions of dollars, our scientists havediscovered the secret ingredients to Viagra! VIAGRA INGREDIENT LIST: (TopSecret!) 3% Vitamin E 2% aspirin 2%ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C...and... 92% Fix-A-Flat!
A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The dentist takes out a needle to give the man a shot of Novacain.
"No way, No needles, I can't stand needles"
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas but the man again objects.
"No gas, please the mask on my face is suffocating to me"
The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill.
"No" said the patient "I'm fine with pills"
The dentist then returns and says "Here's a Viagra tablet"
The patient says "Wow, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain pill"
"It doesn't" said the dentist "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull out your tooth"
A man was prescribed Viagra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex. The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his wife to get in from work.
An hour before she was due home, he took the Viagra pill. But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she wouldn't be in for another two and a half hours.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will have worn off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces,"
The pharmacist said, "that won't do you any good,"
The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
A research study by the University of Alabama has found that men over 40 who take Viagra are twice as likely to report hearing loss. In a related study, wives of men taking Viagra have become experts in saying "not again" in sign language.