Effect Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team manages to sneak his new girlfriend, a gorgeous Danish gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village.

    Once she's inside, he quickly switches out all the lights and they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement.

    After about twenty minutes of wild sex they both collapse back on the bed in exhaustion. The girl looks admiringly across at the swimmer in the dim light. His beautifully-developed muscles, tanned skin and smooth-shaven scalp glisten with little beads of sweat as he lays beside her. She's really pleased to have met this guy.

    At this point the swimmer slowly struggles up from the bed. He fumbles the lid off a bottle on the bedside table, pours himself a small shot in a glass and drinks it down in one gulp. Then he stands bolt upright, takes a deep breath and, in a surprisingly energetic motion, dives under the bed, climbing out the other side and beating his more...

    With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society..
    DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of
    0.2 percent.
    PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
    CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.
    COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. * Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
    BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts more...

    The Coolidge Effect

    Hot 9 months ago

    a supposedly true story from:
    Bermant, G. (1976). Sexual behavior: Hard times with the Coolidge
    Effect. In M. H. Siegel & H. P. Zeigler (Eds.), /Psychological
    Research: The inside story/ (pp. 76-103). New York: Harper & Row.
    One day the President and Mrs. Coolidge were visiting a government
    farm. Soon after their arrival they were taken off on separate tours.
    When Mrs. Coolidge passed the chicken pens she paused to ask the man in
    charge if the rooster copulates more than once each day. "Dozens of
    times," was the reply. "Please tell that to the President," Mrs.
    Coolidge requested.
    When the President passed the pens and was told about the
    roosters, he asked, "Same hen every time?" "Oh no, Mr.
    President, a different one each time." The President nodded
    slowly, then said, "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

    Monty Stein, in the year 3047, committed quite a heist and made off with quite a tidy sum. He was eventually caught, and the judge sentenced him to seven years imprisonment.
    However, the night before his impending incarceration, he calmly set his time machine for seven years and one day, and stepped through.
    When he emerged in 3054, there was quite an uproar. Prosecution maintained that Monty Stein never actually served the sentence, since effectively no time passed for him.
    Defense stated that the effect was basically the same, since he lost seven years of living in society, or something to that effect.
    Both sides called each other names (as lawyers are wont to do).
    Eventually, Stein was set free. Some say that the judge succumbed to peer pressure; others said that he simply couldn't resist the temptation.
    For his decision, in full, was: "A NICHE IN TIME SAVES STEIN." (By Isaac Asimov)
    The cartoon characters were playing draw poker between the more...

    Scientists Discover Previously Unknown Holidays
    by S.J.Zeve at Hacker Times December 16, 1985
    Researchers at the Hacker Institute have discovered a previously unknown pair of holidays similar in nature to All Saints Day and Halloween. Researchers claim that these holidays have been missed in the past due to their rather specialized natures and a non-religious orientation.
    Adding to the confusion is the fact that the holidays seem, in many respects, to be fairly young in age and so not quite settled properly into calendar slots as are such older and more staid holidays as Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Purim, Hannukah, and so forth. Indeed these two new holidays not only float around within the calendar from year to year on every currently known calendar system, but they are even known to shift position depending on where in the world you are celebrating them. For example, in the USA they might be celebrated in June while in Argentina they get celebrated in more...

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