Useful Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher-The Axis Of The Earth Is An Imaginary Line. Can U Tell Sunil Why It Is Useful?
Sunil-It Is Simple, It Is Useful For Hanging Imaginary Clothes!!!

You're about as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

USEFUL PHRASES Work jokes: I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. No, my powers can only be used for good. How about never? Is never good for you? I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. I don't work more...

proof by example:
The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.
proof by intimidation:
"Trivial."
proof by vigorous handwaving:
Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
proof by cumbersome notation:
Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.
proof by exhaustion:
An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is useful.
proof by omission:
"The reader may easily supply the details"
"The other 253 cases are analogous"
"..."
proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements.
proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims.
proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?
proof by more...

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable...Time to up my more...

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. No, my powers can only be used for good. How about never? Is never good for you? I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. I don't work here. more...

Phrases Useful in the Workplace
1. Thank you - we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and inexperienced.
7. What am I - flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. I'm just ignoring you.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of calories to burn off.
12. Yes, he is an agent of Satan, but his duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with more...