Life & Style magazine reports that, according to a source close to the family, Katie Holmes' parents are extremely unhappy that their daughter is not marrying in a "proper" Catholic ceremony, and may not attend.
Of course if it were a proper Catholic ceremony, God would no doubt be extremely unhappy, as Katie is a fornicating whore who had a baby out of wedlock, and Tom is a suspected sodomite.
... always fifteen years older than I am.
- Bernard Baruch
... a matter of feeling, not of years.
- George W. Curtis
Youth is a blunder; manhood is a struggle; old age a regret.
- Benjamin Disraeli
When a man is young he writes songs; grown up he speaks in poverbs; in old age he preaches pessimism.
- Hebrew proverb
Age is not all decay; it is the ripening, the swelling, of the fresh life within, that withers and bursts the husks.
- George Macdonald
A man is still young as long as women can make him happy or unhappy. He reaches middle age when they can no longer make him unhappy. He is old when they cease to make him either happy or unhappy.
... when one begins to exchange emotions for symptoms.
Microsoft has just released it's update to TimeTraveller 1.0 (TM), the popular computer application that turns Pentium-based PCs into time machines.
The first version of TimeTraveller, Microsoft now concedes, was not without problems. Unhappy users from around the world flooded the support line with calls. "My son was trying to go back a week earlier to do his history final a second time," one unhappy father from Johannesburg reportedly complained, "and he ended smack dab in the middle of the Boer War. What key do I push do get him back?" A caller from Bristol grumbled that his wife had got stuck a few hours in the past. "Me an' the missus can't agree on tea-time anymore," he grumbled, "an' she throws out the Guardian before it even arrives. "
TimeTraveller 1.02 addresses the glitches that plagued the first release. The legions of women who lost technogeek partners to distant eras have been promised complementary copies of Widows more...
What kind of tree is always unhappy? A weeping willow.
Why was the glow worm unhappy? Because her children weren't that bright!