Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...
In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...
NEW TAX LAW
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time is is pissed off, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has 2 dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 1999, your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10-12'' Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10'' Privilege Tax $15.00
5-8'' Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12'' must file under Capital Gains.
Anyone under 4'' is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!
We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
* Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
* What if one's penis is self-employed?
* Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
* Are more...
A plane leaves the Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It`s the first time they`ve flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don`t like Chinese." "No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "why not?" "You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that`s why!" "No, no," the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Pearl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese." "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn`t matter, you`re all alike!" There`s a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces. "Why not?" asks the captain. "Jews sink Titanic." "Jews didn`t sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "it was an iceberg!" "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, more...
This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.
My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...