Titles Jokes / Recent Jokes

Alternate/rejected titles for the movie Twister:

*Totally Gone With The Wind
*Boys On The Side... Of My Barn
*The Weather Channel: The Movie
*Schindler's Twist
*Field of Debris
*Dead Man Flying
*One House Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
*The Splintered Bridges of Madison County
*Wizard of Oz II:The Search For Toto
*Killer Genuine Draft
*Four Weddings and a Funnel
*Indiana Jones and the Trailer Park of Doom
*A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Farm
*Roofless in Seattle

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply:
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property only back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles more...

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a
parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply: “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you
prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
“Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles more...

Actual' Country' Song Titles...

1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

2. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away?

3. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed

4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth,' Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye

5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or Go Bowling

6. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

7. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

8. I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal

9. I Keep Forgetten' I Forgot About You

10. I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

12. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

13. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

14. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

15. Please more...

Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky's new book

1. I Suck At My Job


2. What Really Goes Down In The White House


3. How I Blew It In Washington


4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President


5. Clear and Present Boner


6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule


7. Going Back for Gore


8. Podium Girl


9. Secret Services to the President


10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton


11. Deep Inside The Oval Office


12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions


13. She's Chief of MY Staff!


14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes


15. How To Beat Off the Government


16. Going Down and Moving Up


17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet


18. Me and My Big more...

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.)
1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The more...

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.)1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The more...