Title Jokes / Recent Jokes

Miss USA Tara Conner, who had come under criticism amid rumors she had been frequenting bars while underage, will be allowed to keep her title, Donald Trump announced Tuesday.

"I've always been a believer in second chances," Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBC, said with Conner at his side.
Trump said he and Conner had met earlier Tuesday morning.
"She left a small town in Kentucky and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said. "At least that's what I think she said, it's always hard to understand what women are saying when you're banging them from behind. But it's clear she's willing to do what it takes to keep her title."

A blonde decides to do something wild that she hasn't done before -- rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

The blonde says, "I just rented an adult movie from you, and there's nothing on the tape but static."

The store clerk replies, "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

The blonde says, "It's called Head Cleaner."

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has
the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's title for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it,
I think I saw the owner's title in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK? !?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was more...

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds *VERY* stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."
The Store Clerk replied, "Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
To which the Blonde answered, "It's called' Head Cleaner'".

>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...