Title Jokes

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    Title Search Excerpted from the Empire State Surveyor, New York Society of Professional Surveyors, November 1990 One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to buy some land in Louisiana for a plant expansion, and he wanted to finance this new facility with a government loan. His lawyer filled out all the necessary forms and applications and sent them appropriately. The government reviewed his application and abstract and sent the following reply: “We received today your letter enclosing application for your client supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you have not traced the title previous to 1803, and before final approval, it will be necessary that the title be traced previous to that year. Yours truly, etc. ”
    As a result, the lawyer sent the following letter to the government:
    “Gentlemen, your letter regarding title received. I note you more...

    Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels."Do you have books here?""Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?""Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?""I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book,' Waltzing through Grand Rapids.'" (Actual title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")"Do you have that book by Rushdie:' Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")"Where is the reference desk?" This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?""Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hair dryer?""Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?""Do more...

    Miss USA Tara Conner, who had come under criticism amid rumors she had been frequenting bars while underage, will be allowed to keep her title, Donald Trump announced Tuesday.

    "I've always been a believer in second chances," Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBC, said with Conner at his side.
    Trump said he and Conner had met earlier Tuesday morning.
    "She left a small town in Kentucky and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said. "At least that's what I think she said, it's always hard to understand what women are saying when you're banging them from behind. But it's clear she's willing to do what it takes to keep her title."

    Today the girl was stripped of her title when it came to light that she had texted her opposition to gay marriage.

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a
    parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
    back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply: “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you
    prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    “Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have Titles more...

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