Telephones Jokes / Recent Jokes
Kol Nidre night.
Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy.
He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Kol Nidre night, but tonight Spurs are in the European Cup quarter finals. Rabbi, I`m a life long Spurs fan. I`ve got to watch the Spurs game on TV."
Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that`s what video recorders are for."
Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre"?
Dear Sirs:
I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three
dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have
questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil
and expensive. It's only fair that since they are minors and not my
responsibility that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to
care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over
the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and
reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours!
The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you
put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions
about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed
to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should
be a breeze; next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful
that you will now be more...
On the first day of Christmas my CNN Anchor showed to me
A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
6 Field Producers;
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
7 Perky Reporters;
6 Field more...
Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you! I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she more...
President Musharraf went to the US & had a meeting with President Bush. Bush said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."
Bush takes him in a deep forest and says, "Dig the ground."
Musharraf digs.
Bush says, "More, more, more..."
Musharraf has now reached 100 feet.
Bush says, "So now, did you find anything?"
Musharraf, "I got a wire!"
Bush says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!"
Musharraf was very frustrated and he invited Bush to Pakistan. In Pakistan Musharraf says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in Pakistan!"
He takes Bush to a forest and asks him to dig.
After some time Musharraf says, "More.... More... more!"
Bush has now reached almost 400 feet.
Musharraf says, "Find anything?"
Bush tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"
Musharraf says, more...