Kristen Jokes

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    THE IRS LETTER...

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    THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair, since they are minors and not my responsbility, that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brillant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you more...

    (This letter is supposed to be true, and from the files of a "national tax preparation company". It is apparently a copy of a letter to the IRS that was written in response to a rejection of dependents claimed).
    Dear Sirs:
    I am responding to your letter denying the deduction of 2 of the 3 dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax Return. THANK YOU! I have questioned whether these are my children for years; they are evil and expensive.
    THIS YEAR THEY ARE YOURS! It's only fair since they are minor and not my responsibility, and the government apparently knows something about them. You MAY wish to apply next year to re-assign them to me and reinstate the deduction.
    The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant, just ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office, where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should more...

    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
    "Because I am not an American" Kristen replies.
    "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
    "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile, "Then," says Kristen, "I'd more...

    Dear Sirs:
    I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three
    dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have
    questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil
    and expensive. It's only fair that since they are minors and not my
    responsibility that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to
    care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over
    the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and
    reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours!
    The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you
    put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions
    about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed
    to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should
    be a breeze; next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful
    that you will now be more...

    THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair, since they are minors and not my responsbility, that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brillant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze. Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you more...

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