Subject Jokes

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    Subject: more microsoft c humor
    Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
    Project: Version - Windows 95
    Microsoft marketing strategy (MARKET.EXE): #include
    #include
    #include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
    #include /* For the court of law */
    #define say(x) lie(x)
    #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
    #define next_year soon
    #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version
    void main()
    {
    if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
    {
    if (there_are_still_bugs)
    market(bugfix);
    if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
    raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);
    }
    while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
    {
    make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in
    lie.h */
    if (rumours_grow_wilder)
    make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
    if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
    {
    market_time=ripe;
    say("It will be ready in one more...

    IAS Interview

    Hot 3 years ago

    One young man went for an IAS Interview.


    "When did India get independence? " He was asked.


    "The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.


    "Who was responsible for our independence? "


    "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.



    "Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"


    "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.


    The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

    When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave more...

    College by Dave Barry

    Hot 3 years ago

    College by Dave Barry Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college.) College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college: * Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of your pajamas. * Things you will not need to know in later life (1, 998 hours). These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, - - -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to more...

    (pronounced "C more or less")
    Unlike C++, C+- is a subject oriented language. Each C+- class instance
    known as a subject, holds hidden members, known as prejudices or
    undeclared preferences, which are impervious to outside messages, as well
    as public members known as boasts or claims. The following C operators are
    overridden as shown:
    > better than
    > much better than

    A new aid to rapid-almost magical-learning has made its appearance. Indications are that if it catches on all the electronic gadgets will be so much junk.
    The new device is known as Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge. The makers generally call it by its initials, BOOK(tm).
    Many advantages are claimed over the old-style learning and teaching aids on which most people are brought up nowadays. It has no wires, no electric circuit to break down. No connection is needed to an electricity power point. It is made entirely without mechanical parts to go wrong or need replacement.
    Anyone can use BOOK(tm), even children, and it fits comfortably into the hands. It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire.
    How does this revoluntionary, unbelievably easy invention work?
    Basically BOOK(tm) consists only of a large number of paper sheets. These may run to hundreds where BOOK(tm) covers a lengthy program of information. Each sheet bears a number in sequence, more...

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