Stronger Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ABC's Of Sex

    Hot 7 years ago

    A is the Artful word he uses.
    B is the Blush as she gently refuses.
    C is the Creep of his hand up her legs.
    D is the Don't as she pleadingly begs.
    E is the Excitement as his hand goes higher.
    F is the Feeling of ticklish desire.
    G is the Gasp as her quim, he touches.
    H is the Helplessness she feels in his clutches.
    I is the Itching which makes her feel hot.
    J is the Jump as the spot, he touches.
    K is the Kiss with which she rewards him.
    L is the Love which she now feels towards him.
    M is the Move which they make for the bed.
    N is the Nice way her legs are outspread.
    O is the Opening now fully revealed.
    P is the Pen with nib fully pealed.
    Q is the Queerness she feels when it is in.
    R is the Rubbing that's now to begin.
    S is the Strokes getting stronger and stronger.
    T is the Tickling she wishes would last longer.
    U is the Unction now freely flowing.
    V is the Vigour with which they are moving.
    W is more...

    Just in time for Xmas!

    Hot 4 weeks ago

    New, from Mattel...!
    [ANNOUNCER]
    New MIGHTY-MORPHIN'-JESUS action figures!
    With realistic healing and smiting action!
    [VOICE OVER]
    [child #1]
    "Aaannggg... Oh no! G.I. Joe is hit... Cobra leader is
    getting away!"
    [whirring sound... Mighty-Morphin-Jesus' eyes light and head spins]
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "You are healed my son... now go forth and kick some ass."
    [child #2 in G.I. Joe voice]
    "Thanks J-man., Let's go Joes!"
    [ANNOUNCER]
    Now you're in control... fight the forces of evil with new
    Mighty-Morphin-Jesus the action figure.
    [Action shot of Jesus figure and He-Man battling Skeletor]
    He's back from the dead and he's pissed.
    [VOICE OVER]
    [child #2 in Skeletor voice]
    "So Jesus, we meet again... will you never learn that evil
    is stronger than good?"
    [child #1 in Jesus voice]
    "That may be, my unholy friend, but I know something even more...

    I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

    Jesus recently walked into a bar somewhere in the Western World. He
    approached three sad-faced gentlemen at a table, and greeted the first one:
    "What's troubling you, brother?" he said.
    "My eyes. I keep getting stronger and stronger glasses, and I still can't
    see."
    Jesus touched the man, who ran outside to tell the world about his now 20-20
    vision.
    The next gentleman couldn't hear Jesus' questions, so The Lord just touched
    his ears, restoring his hearing to perfection. This man, too, ran out the
    door, probably on his way to the audiologist to get a hearing-aid refund.
    The third man leapt from his chair and backed up against the wall, even
    before Jesus could greet him.
    "Don't you come near me, man! Don't touch me!" he screamed. "I'm on
    disability!"

    Jesus recently walked into a bar somewhere in the Western World. He
    approached three sad-faced gentlemen at a table, and greeted the first one:
    "What's troubling you, brother?" he said.
    "My eyes. I keep getting stronger and stronger glasses, and I still can't
    see."
    Jesus touched the man, who ran outside to tell the world about his now
    20-20 vision.
    The next gentleman couldn't hear Jesus' questions, so The Lord just touched
    his ears, restoring his hearing to perfection. This man, too, ran out the
    door, probably on his way to the audiologist to get a hearing-aid refund.
    The third man leapt from his chair and backed up against the wall, even
    before Jesus could greet him. "Don't you come near me, man! Don't touch
    me!" he screamed. "I'm on disability!"

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