Strike Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say

2. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

10. Teacher Strike Idles Kids

11. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead

12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death

14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

16. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

17. War Dims Hope for Peace

18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

20. Man more...

1. You strike a match and light your nose. 2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad. 3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you. 4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant. 5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl. 6. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!" 7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 10. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place. 11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror. 14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

A little boy walked out into a field saying,' I'm the greatest hitter in the world!'

He tossed up the ball, swung at it, and missed. The boy yelled,' Strike one!'

Then he tossed the ball a second time and missed,' Strike Two!'

The boy checked his bat, concentrated very hard, tossed up his ball and missed again.

Then the boy said,' Boy, I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!

THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU!

With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need.

Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two more...

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms12. Eye Drops Off Shelf13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter21. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One23. War Dims Hope For Peace24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A more...

The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words' open me first,' and the other three are numbered 1 to 3. He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying:' These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third.' The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them. Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast. After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. Shoe opens the first one and it says:' Blame me, your predecessor for everything'. Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy. A few month later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads,' more...

Supplemental Rules for Bowling

If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is more...