Strike Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little boy put on his baseball uniform and went outside to play, chanting "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike one!
    He adjusts his hat and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!"
    He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike two!
    He adjusts his hat a little more, takes a couple of practice swings and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!"
    Once more, he throws the ball in the air, swings and misses again. Strike three!
    He thinks for a few moments about what just took place, then says, "I'm the best pitcher in the world!"

    First Dental Visit

    Hot 11 months ago

    A shy little four-year old girl was at the dentist for her first check-up and cleaning. The hygenist attempted to strike up a conversation with her, but received no response.
    After the cleaning was finished, the dentist was called in to do the final check. He, too, tried to strike up a conversation with the little girl and received no response.
    "Don't you know how old you are?" the dentist asked. The little girl immediately held up four fingers.
    "Oh, I see," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?"
    Once again, the little girl held up four fingers.
    Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you talk?"
    With a solemn look, the little girl replied, "Can you count, asshole?"

    A priest and a lawyer go golfing. The lawyer goes first. He takes careful aim, swings, and misses. He says, "Damn it, I missed!" The priest says, "Do not say that or God will strike you down."
    On the next hole the lawyer takes careful aim, swings, and misses. He says, "Damn it, I missed!" The priest says, "If you say that one more time God will strike you down."
    On the third hole the lawyer takes careful aim, swings, and misses. He says, "Damn it, I missed!" Suddenly a huge lightning bolt comes down from the sky and hits the priest. And then a big voice from above says, "DAMN IT, I MISSED!"

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    Jingle Bells
    My job smells
    Rudolph wants a raise
    Reindeer union was on strike
    All of Christmas Day
    Hey! Dancer took a bust
    For a DUI
    Prancer got possession
    And now he's doing life
    Missis Clause is mad
    I stayed out all last night
    And now she's getting a divorce
    Because of this day's fight Jingle Bells
    My job smells
    Rudolph wants a raise
    Reindeer union was on strike
    All of Christmas Day
    Hey! The cops here really stink
    They don't know who I am
    Got busted for doing sixty
    In a fifty five
    The Missis is a bitch
    She won the divorce
    And now I have to walk because
    She got herself the sleighJingle Bells
    My job smells
    Rudolph wants a raise
    Reindeer union was on strike
    All of Christmas Day
    Hey! All the elves they suck
    Bunch a little pricks
    Cannot make a descent toy
    That won't take out my eye
    I drank some sour milk
    And poisoned cookies too
    So I beat the living more...

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