Streets Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the streets of New York, when they decided that they were beginning to get sober. They checked their pockets to see how much money they had on them. They were disappointed to only find $1.25.
Finally after a period of deep and intense thought, one of the men got an idea. He went to a hot dog stand, bought a hot dog, and went to a bar to begin drinking. They did shot after shot, until the bartender told the two that if they wanted any more drinks they better show him that they had some money to pay for them. The man with the hot dog opened his zipper and put the wiener through the opening. He had his friend get down and start sucking on it. The bartender cursed them and made them leave. They went to bar after bar with this routine until they were dog drunk. They staggered out into the streets, satisfied and wasted.
"Man," one of the drunks said, "I've got to admit, that hot dog trick worked more...
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said."You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again theyre sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didnt get the rest of the instructions. more...
Quoted from Sacramento Bee:
Yakov Smirnoff on his communication with friends who came to America before him:
"Before they left, we worked out a code that they would say the opposite of
what they meant in their letters," Smirnoff recalled. "When they wrote that
'the streets are filthy and the people are rude,' we thought that they meant
the people were friendly and the streets were clean. Since they live in
Cleveland, we later learned they had forgotten the code."
Q. Why are French streets tree-lined?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
Immigrants from around the country are taking to the streets this week demanding that they be allowed to stay in the US in order to maintain their jobs. And what better way to maintain those jobs than by parading in the streets in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday.
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee
listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the
streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, okay."
Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of
morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, okay."
Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of
coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest more...