Forecast Jokes

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    I'm no weather man but the forecast is calling for several inches tonight !

    Murphy the Spy

    Hot 1 year ago

    The CIA lost track of it’s operative in Ireland “Murphy. ” The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ” So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small towns. He says to the bartender, “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a guy named Murphy. ” The bartender replies, “You’re going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There’s Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There’s Murphy the Banker, who’s president of our local savings bank. There’s Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too. ” Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code more...

    You might be from the Northwest if you:
    Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

    Use the expression "sun break" and know what it means.

    Know more than 10 ways to order coffee (and know different parts of town by the espresso joints).

    Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

    Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

    Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

    Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.

    Complain about Californians, as you sell one your house for twice its value.

    Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Veneto's.

    Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

    Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.

    Consider swimming an indoor more...

    Thanksgiving Forecast:
    Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F.The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
    During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
    A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.During the evening, the turkey will dimish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
    Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established.Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.We expect a warming trend where soup develops.By more...

    Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK." Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn`t get the rest of the instructions. He says to more...

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