Lena Jokes

  • Funny Jokes


    Hot 2 years ago

    Olie and Lena are getting ready to go to a Halloween party. Lena comes out almost naked except for a ribbon with a lemon tied around her waist.
    Olie days, "Lane, is that what you're going to wear?"
    Lena says, "Yes Olie, it is."
    Then Olie goes back and comes out almost naked except for a ribbon with a potato tied around his waist
    Lena asks, "Olie, is that what you're gonna wear to the party?"
    Olie says, "Yes, I figured if you could go as a sour puss, I could go as a dictator."

    After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"
    "Not even once!" exclaimed Ole. "Lena, have you ever been unfaithful?"
    "Well, er, yes - but only three times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.
    "Hmmm, three times?" questioned Ole. "That's not so bad. Do you remember those three times? Can you tell me when?"
    "Well, Ole, do you remember when you wanted to build the store and you had a hard time getting approval from the City Council?" asked Lena. "That was the first time."
    "And, do you remember when you wanted to build an addition, but had to get the okay from the building inspector?" she asked. "That was the second time."
    "OK, Lena, when was the third time?" queried Ole?
    "The third time was " Lena paused. more...

    Green Bay Packers

    Hot 7 months ago

    Ole and Lena were applying for a wedding license and were answering questions asked by the clerk. "Lena, how old are you?"
    Lena answered, "I am going to be tventy one in Yanuary."
    Next the clerk asked, "Lena, how tall are you?" Lena stated, "I'm yust about six feet tall."
    "And how much do you weigh, Lena?" was the next question. "I weigh yust about 230 pounds."
    "Wow," exclaimed the clerk, "You're big enough to play with the Green Bay Packers!!"
    "Oh no," answered Lena, "I yust play with Ole's packer."

    Natural Births

    Hot 3 years ago

    Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. He had a puzzled look on his face as he considered the assignment that was due--writing an essay about his origin. He turned to question his mother. "Mama, vere did Grandma come from?" he asked. "Da stork brought her, " answered mama Lena. "And vere did yew come from?" asked Little Ole. "Da stork brought me, " his mother answered. "And vere did I come from?" Little Ole inquired. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew, " mama Lena replied. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been no natural births in our family for three yenerations."

    After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news.
    "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid"
    the doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice. Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said: "But doctor, she's so young. She's only 45."
    "37" came the weak reply from Lena.

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