Sled Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal
Aviation Administration (FAA). It was shortly before Christmas
when the FAA examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all
the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his
paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the
reindeer harnesses, the landing gear and Rudolph's nose. He
painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations
for the sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride.
Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and
checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to
Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this,
but you're gonna lose an more...
This is from my Uncle George, who's retired USAF. (US Air Force)
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation
Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA
examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the
reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork
was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses,
the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's
weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened
his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the
examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but
you're gonna lose an more...
The night before Chreemas, on Thorsday I theenk,
I go to cantina to geet me a dreenk.
I dreenk saam tequila, I dreenk eet too fast,
Preety damn queek, I fall on my ass.
I peek myself up and go home to bed,
I pool the cobija up ober my head.
Early next morning, or late een the night,
I heer such damn recket, I theenk eet's a fight.
I geet outta bed, I don feel very well,
My head ees too beeg, eet hort me like hell.
I go to the weendow, I don believe what I see,
A pot-bellied greengo, as plain as can be.
I looook at heez ropa, ees all colored red,
He got heem some chivos tied on to a sled.
I yella and I holler, "Hey, move your fat ass,
Your chivos--they chit on my grass!"
He torn to heez goats, he say just one word,
And them damn chivos chomp in the air like a bord.
They corcle around, and then queek as a mouse,
He land that damn sled on top of my more...
Life is like a sled dog team: if you ain't the lead dog, the scenery
never changes.
Hi Erma,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to fill you in on what I've been up to. Since it snowed during the night, I got up early and made a sled out of old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it, from DNA that was just sitting around my craft room.
By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast. I'll let you in on a little secret though - I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Prior to moving the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes to more...
Why does Santas sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side.