Faa Jokes

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    Santa and the FAA

    Hot 1 year ago

    Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

    In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

    The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check-ride. Santa got in, fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

    "What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

    The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but as part of the test, you're gonna lose an engine on take-off."

    Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal
    Aviation Administration (FAA). It was shortly before Christmas
    when the FAA examiner arrived.

    In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all
    the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his
    paperwork was in order.

    The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the
    reindeer harnesses, the landing gear and Rudolph's nose. He
    painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations
    for the sled's enormous payload.

    Finally, they were ready for the checkride.

    Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and
    checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to
    Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

    "What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

    The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this,
    but you're gonna lose an more...

    It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing. They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."

    New FAA motto: "We're not happy, til you're not happy."

    It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane`s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.

    The theory is that if the windshield doesn`t crack from the carcass impact, it`ll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they`re developing.

    They borrowed the FAA`s chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer`s chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.

    The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."

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