Sick Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    AIDS or Alzheimer's?

    Hot 4 months ago

    A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
    His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

    incest

    Hot 4 months agoby justincider

    My village is holding their annual incest competition.
    I've entered my Sister

    Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
    This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother. 'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. 'I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and more...

    Mortician's prize

    Hot 1 year ago

    A mortician was working late one night preparing bodies for burial. As he examined the body of a Mr. Schwartz, he made an amazing discovery. The man had the largest penis he had ever seen.

    "I'm sorry, Mr.Schwartz," the mortician said, "but this has to be saved for posterity." The mortician detached the dead mans schlong, stuffed it into a briefcase and took it home.

    "Honey," he said to his wife as he reached in to recover his prize, "I have something to show you that you won't believe."

    "Oh, my God!" she screamed as it came into view. "Schwartz is dead?!"

    Eel Sex

    Hot 1 year ago

    Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister
    and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "
    Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting
    and more...

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