Shepherd Jokes / Recent Jokes

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out ablank form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof... woof." The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There areonly nine words here. You could send another' woof' for thesame price." The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a suit and Ray-Ban glasses, gets out and asks the shepherd "If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sheep grazing and says, "All right."
The young man parks the car, connects the notebook and the mobile, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a data base and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says "You have exactly 1586 sheep here."
The shepherd answers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep. The young man takes the sheep and puts it in the back of his jeep."
The shepherd looks at him and asks "If I guess your profession, will more...

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out ablank form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof... woof."The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There areonly nine words here. You could send another' woof' for thesame price."The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out ablank form and wrote, “Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof…woof. ”The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, “There areonly nine words here. You could send another ‘woof’ for thesame price. ”
The dog replied “What, and ruin the punchline?! ”

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thinks it over. It's a big flock, so he takes the bet.
The man looks around and answers, "869." The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.
The shepherd says, "Okay, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." The man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." The man agrees.
"You are an accountant for the government," says the shepherd.
"Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell more...

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black. So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass. While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd - "If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?" He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed "487". The shepherd said "WOW! That's right... well... take any sheep you like... a deal's a deal"So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says "WAIT! Now I have a deal for you.... if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?"

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.

So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.

Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.

The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.

"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.

Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.

She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.

She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"

The blonde thought it was only fair to let more...