Sheep Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Shepherd...

    Hot 1 year ago

    A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
    The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure!"
    The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas. Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns round to our shepherd and says: "You have here exactly 1586 sheep!"
    "This is correct. As agreed, you can take one of the sheep," says the more...

    There are three guys walking together along the Welsh/English border...a Welshman, a Scot, and an Englishman. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out,' I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes.'

    To this, the Scot says' I am a sheep herder. My dad's a sheep herder, his dad was a sheep herder, and my son will be one too. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms'...' FOOM!' all the land in Scotland was full of an infinite supply of sheep farms.

    The Englishman was amazed. He said' I want a wall around England to keep those damned Scots and Welsh out'...' FOOM!!' there was a wall around England.

    The Welshman says' Tell me more about this wall.'

    The genie says' Well, its about 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.'

    After a moment of consideration, the Welshman says' Fill it with water.'

    Mary Had A Little Lamb

    Hot 2 years ago

    Mary had a little sheep
    With this sheep
    She went to sleep
    The sheep turned out to be a ram
    And Mary had a little lamb.

    BAAAAH!

    Hot 2 years ago

    Once there was this brunette who was driving her corvette with the wind in her hair. She looked and she saw a farmer with a flock of sheep so she drove over and asked the farmer "if I can guess how many sheep in you're flock will you give me a sheep." The farmer says "OK". The brunette says "485". The farmer says "that's right but if I can guess you're natural hair color can I have my sheep back". the brunette says "OK". The farmer says "blonde". The brunette says how did you know. The farmer says you just picked the dog.

    The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

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