Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...
Where Does Vigin Wool Come From?
A reporter goes way up into the hills of West Virginia to write an article about the area. He meets an old man in a small town and asks him about any memorable events in his life.
The old man says, "Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost, so me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the sheep. It was a lot of fun!"
The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story.
The old man said, "Well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the neighbor's wife. Now, THAT was a lot of fun!"
The reporter, feeling frustrated, finally told the old man that he couldn't write articles about more...
Mary had a little sheep
With this sheep
She went to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb.
Substitute below for the place of origin of any ethnic
group not locally renowned for high intelligence.
A man walks up to a New Zealand sheep farmer and says, "If I can tell
you exactly how many sheep you have down there, can I keep one?"
The farmer glances at the vast array of sheep, snickers, and says, "Sure."
The man looks carefully at the sheep, then says, "5,279."
The farmer, startled, says, "How did you do that?"
The man says, "I'd rather not say. Can I have my animal?"
"I guess so," says the farmer. The man picks up an animal and starts to
"Wait!" yells the farmer. "If I can guess where you're from, will you
give me my animal back?"
The man snickers, and says, "Sure."
"You're from ," says the farmer.
The man, startled, says, "How did you do that?"
The farmer says, "I'd rather not say. Can I more...