Exact Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
    Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
    Here's how it works:
    This device is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
    Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, the devices with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information more...

    Two Wishes

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
    The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
    "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
    The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3. 40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
    The ostrich says "I'll have the same."
    Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.
    "Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
    "Same for me" says the ostrich.
    "That will be $7. 20" says the bartender.
    Once again the man pulls more...

    A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet? The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote "your exact weight" on the paper.

    A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."The shepherd thinks it over. It's a big flock, so he takes the bet.The man looks around and answers, "869." The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.The shepherd says, "Okay, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." The man picks one up and begins to walk away."Wait," cries the shepherd, "let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." The man agrees."You are an accountant for the government," says the shepherd."Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?""Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."

    A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
    The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $
    3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
    This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $
    7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and more...

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