Senator Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Senator John Kerry, recovering from prostate surgery, was told it would be six weeks before he could be sexually active.
    John Edwards called to wish Kerry well.
    Al Sharpton called Kerry to offer prayers.
    Howard Dean called with encouragement on recovery.
    Bill Clinton called Teresa.

    GOP Senator Nancy Riley has joined the Democratic Party because, "The moderate Republican has been pushed aside for the extreme right wing."
    "I never pushed her," said Senator Joe Lieberman.

    "Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments."
    - David Letterman

    A friend of mine told me the other day that Sonny Bono was thinking of
    running for the Senate in California. If Sonny Bono becomes Senator
    Bono, does that mean we have to find a different nickname for Teddy

    A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator."Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven." "I'm sorry but we have our rules," replies St. Peter.And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to more...

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