Scabs Jokes

Three men are outside a pub when one said, "I dare you to go in and ask for a free glass of milk!"
One of the other men went in the pub and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs of my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
The other man walked in and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs off my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
When the two men went back outside they told the third one that they could only get a free glass of milk if they picked the scabs off the barmaid's daughter's fanny.
The third man said, "I wouldn't mind doing that."
The third man went in and said I will pick the scabs off your daughter's fanny if you give me a free glass of milk."
"Ok," agreed the barmaid.
He went upstairs and picked the scabs of her daughter's fanny and more...

This guy is having sex with a hooker and he says, "You're so dry."
The hooker replies, "Give me two minutes."
Two minutes later she comes back and they continue. The man says, "That's much better. What did you do?"
The hooker replies, "I picked off the scabs."

three soldiours were in hospital beds and the queen comes to visit them
she goes up to the first man whats wrong with you she says. scabs all over my stomach he says whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says. to get back out and fight for my country he says.
goes up to the second man.whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my face he says.whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get back out and fight for my coutry he says
she goes up to the third man whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my mouth he says.whats the cure she says wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get the wired brush before these bastards he said

theres an english man a scottish man and an iris man. they was all walking through the dessert and fing a pub.The iris man goes can i have a glass of water the land lord goes'ONLY IF U PICK SCABS OF MY SISTER'the iris man goes forget it. the scottish man goescan i have a glass of waterthe land lord goes 'ONLY IF U PICK SCABS OFF MY SISTER' the scottish man goes no thanks. the english man goes in and say can i have a glass of water the land lord goes'ONLY IF YOU PICK SCABS OFF MY SISTER' and he say ok he picks scabs of his sister put them in a food bag and stapples them and chucks them out the window. the scottish and english man eats them lol

Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!
Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get Gramma off
the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off thecliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here;
have you got the money or should I go
out anplay?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
Shut up and reload.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are you moaning?
Shut up son, and keep licking.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I get pregnant?
Of course not dear, you are only seven years
old.
OK boys, same again...
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, more...