Ambition Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lifelong Ambition

    Hot 2 years ago

    A woman was appearing before the judge in traffic court to answer for a ticket she received for driving through a red light. She told the judge she was a school teacher and asked for an immediate disposal of her case so she wouldn't be late getting to school.
    A wild gleam immediately appeared in the judge's eyes. "So, you're a school teacher, are you?" he said. "I shall finally realize my lifelong ambition. I have waited years to have a school teacher in my court. Now, sit down at that table and write, 'I will not drive through a red light 500 times'!"

    Chronic disease!

    Hot 6 years ago

    An army Major visiting the sick army men, went to one soldier and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic syphilis, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," said the Major.
    He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic piles, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," barked the Major.
    He moved to the next bed where Santa was lying and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic gum disease, Sir"
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's more...

    Below are the typical areas of a resume and my priceless secrets for dealing with them. These tips will help crush the competition, get you in the door and put you behind a desk making 50 big ones, plus bonus.
    THE NAME - Use the name to your advantage. Spice it up a little bit. Steve Smith goes nowhere fast. But Sir Stephen Smith - now that might turn a few heads. Nicknames also help. Mark "Keyboards" O'Malley is good. Mark "Kegsucker" O'Malley is bad.
    THE ADDRESS - Forget your real address. Make a statement instead! Saying you're from the Bronx suggests you're tough as nails. Anyplace in Japan implies you believe in an 18-hour-a-day work ethic!
    THE PHONE NUMBER - Skip it. What are the odds they'll call - 1,000 to 1. If they do, they'll probably just catch your roommate somewhere in the middle of his second six-pack. My advice is never put your phone number on a resume unless you want to try some interesting 900 number which might wake up a recruiter or more...

    What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

    What is every blondes ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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