Rich Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool.
When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play with!"

An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.

Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.

Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.

Q: What does it take to be a good economist?

A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!

Q: What`s the difference between mathematics and economics?

A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn`t make any sense.

An economist is someone who didn`t have enough personality to become an accountant.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

Q: What`s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?

A: more...

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. J. Paul Getty A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' Lord Barnett Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. Rita Rudner If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn

One day a rich greedy man bougt a donkey from a poor man. the man explained:Amen to stop. alleluia to go. oh god to trot. the man didnt listen. the man went on the donkey and said "oh god, here we go." suddenly the donkey troted along. the rich man didnt know where he was going. the man was coming to a clif but didnt realise it. then he saw it and panicked. he tried saying "whow" and "stop donkey stop" but nothing worked. then he stated saying a prayer "in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit...Amen" and the donkey stoped. the man was so delighted he shouted at the top of his voice at the edge of the clif "ALLeluia..."

One day a rich man was looking for a gift for his daughter. He saw a beautiful white horse who was owned by a poor man. He offered $500 for it, but the poor man replied,
"
I don't know mister it don't look so good."
The next day the rich man offered $1000 for the horse. But the poor man replied,
"
I don't know mister it don't look so good."
The next day the rich man offered $2000 and said he wouldn't take no for an answer. the poor man finally agreed.
The rich mans daughter loved her present. She jumped right on the horse and galloped right into a tree. The rich man went back to the poor man and demanded an explanation for the horses blindness. But the poor man only replied,
"
I told you mister, It don't look so good!"

A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, Ive done that," said the old gentleman. "Ive only got to make a will. And do you know what Im going to do with all my money? Im going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So, she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.
The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.
Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked,
"What are those for?"
The elderly gentleman replied, "There are just two things I can't stand...
"the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"