Raft Jokes / Recent Jokes

A medical student was working in the toxicology department at the poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. The student told the mother that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away. Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the work field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is automatically activated when the raft is inflated. They are no more...

This ethnically disadvantaged male person goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $99. 00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go."
The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $99. 00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1, 399. 00."
"Oh, no you don't," says the Polak, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$99. 00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want."
"Okay," says the agent, who takes a baseball bat from under the desk and hits the Polak in the head. The Polak wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean!
He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another Polak on the raft.
"What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us."
"I don't think so," responds more...

Seems about a year ago (1998) some airplane manufacturer employees decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They got it off the plane, out the gate and were having a good time fishing on the Stilliquamish. All of a sudden the Coast Guard Chopper came wop-wop-ing in, homing on the emergency frequency locator beacon that was activated when the boys inflated the raft at the river.(Note: The boys are no longer with said aircraft company.)

After three months at sea, two men landed in Hawaii on a raft made out of plastic bottles. And by booking their travel with Orbitz, they saved ten bucks!

If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas, would they be the Apes of Raft?