Raft Jokes / Recent Jokes

Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.

When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated.

We can pretty much guess that they are no longer employed there.

This ethnically disadvantaged male person goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $99.00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go."
The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $99.00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1,399.00."
"Oh, no you don't," says the Polak, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says '$99.00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want."
"Okay," says the agent, who takes a baseball bat from under the desk and hits the Polak in the head. The Polak wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean!
He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another Polak on the raft.
"What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us."
"I don't think so," responds his more...

A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women whoin a short time were fighting over his attentions. They held a meeting to resolve the problem anddecided that each would have his services on adifferent day of the week, with Sundays off for him. In due time the guy was dragging himself through theweek, looking forward to Sunday. As he lay an the beach one day he saw a dot floatingon the sea which as it got closer turned out to be aman on a raft. With his last ounce of strength heswam out, pulled the raft ashore, gave the occupantCPR and as he came around said to him; "Oh man, amI ever glad to see you! "Goodness gracious, am I ever glad to see you too"said the raft rider in a swishy way. With a shrug of resignation the guy said... "Oh damn, there goes my Sundays!"

On a transatlantic trip a freighter comes across three survivors of a shipwreck bobbing about sunburned and thirsty, in a rubber raft. The freighter`s captain, a Britisher, leans over the side and shouts, "I`d like to rescue you fellows, but I`ve got a few questions first." The first man, a Frenchman, he asks, "What`s the worst disaster in naval history?" "That would be the sinking of the Titanic," replies the Frenchman, and the captain throws down a rope and pulls him up. The next question he posed to the Irishman. "Can you tell me how many died?" "I`d say about 1250 people," came the reply, and a rope was dropped over the side to pull him aboard. "You`re from Poland aren`t you?" said the captain to the lone man in the raft. Turning away from the railing, the captain says, "Name `em."

Some Boeing employees recently “liberated” a life raft from one of the 747s on the company’s production line. Later, they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish river.

Imagine their surprise when a Coast Guard helicopter “rescued” them after homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. Not surprisingly, they no longer work at Boeing.

A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women whoin a short time were fighting over his attentions.They held a meeting to resolve the problem anddecided that each would have his services on adifferent day of the week, with Sundays off for him. In due time the guy was dragging himself through theweek, looking forward to Sunday. As he lay an the beach one day he saw a dot floatingon the sea which as it got closer turned out to be aman on a raft. With his last ounce of strength heswam out, pulled the raft ashore, gave the occupantCPR and as he came around said to him; "Oh man, amI ever glad to see you! "Goodness gracious, am I ever glad to see you too"said the raft rider in a swishy way.With a shrug of resignation the guy said... "Oh damn, there goes my Sundays!"

A preacher was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden there was a cloud burst. After about one full hour of complete non-stop rain, everyone began to evacuate because the whole church was flooding, but the preacher just stood there preaching in the ankle-deep water.

A man drives by in a car and shouts through the church doors, "Preacher, you better get out of there before you drown!"

The preacher replied, "Don't worry. God will save me."

The man then drove away.

The water was now knee-deep and a man in a raft floated over to the church and said to the preacher, "You better get in here before you drown!"

Despite the second warning the preacher just stood there and replied, "Don't worry. God will save me."

The man then rowed away.

The water was now waist-deep and a man in a power boat came to the preacher and said, "You better get out of there before you more...