how many ants are in an ant hill? how can you ANTSER that? ha ha ha!!!
If there are some ants lost in the forest who do you call to find them? The minister of finance
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer.
The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?
Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?"
The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him - I was just trying to trip him up."
** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.
** To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
** Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.
** To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.
** To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top.
** Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.
** When a cake recipe calls for flouring more...
A priest comes out of the church to find Little Johnny sitting on the steps. The boy is killing ants by smashing them with his thumb, saying, "Fucking ants," with each smash. The priest watches for a moment, horrified, before running over to Little Johnny.
"What are you doing!?!?!" the priest shouts at him.
"I'm killing these fucking ants," responds Little Johnny.
Visibly upset, the priest sits next to Little Johnny. "My son, don't you know that it is wrong to harm any of God's creatures? God created every living being and it is a sin to kill any of them, including ants."
Little Johnny thinks about this a minute and says to the priest, "But these ants don't do anything. They just bother people."
The priest responds, "Everything in life has a purpose my son, including these ants. I want you to go home and think about that. In fact, I challenge you to come back here in one week and see if you can think of three more...