Pupil Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia? Pupil: Fred did!

Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant? Pupil: Hong Kong Teacher: Why do you say that? Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense!

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: Oh yeah? How soon??
BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
WOMAN: You remind me of the sea.
MAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
WOMAN: NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You more...

Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare? Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then? Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair!

Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making? Dad: Why is that, what are you making? Pupil: Mistakes!

Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didnt know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!

Pupil: “Sir, Would You Mind E-Mailing My Exam Results To My Parents? ”
Teacher: “But Your Parents Don’t Have A Computer. ”
Pupil: “Exactly! ”