Rome Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
    One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
    One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
    So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
    POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
    The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He gets more...

    Haircut before Trip

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?""We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.So, where are you staying in Rome?""We'll be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of more...

    A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be much in
    the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, "Tell me, Becky,
    have you heard by chance what's going on in Rome?"
    "No," said Mrs Finkelstein. "I haven't. What's going on in Rome?"
    "A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things,
    decided that the Jews are not responsible for the crucifixion of
    Jesus."
    Mrs Finkelstein raised her eyebrows. "Indeed? And who is
    responsible, then?"
    "I'm not sure," said Mrs. Moskowitz. "I think they suspect the
    Puerto Ricans."

    A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be muchin the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, "Tell me, Becky, have you heard by chance what's going on in Rome?""No," said Mrs Finkelstein. "I haven't. What's going on in Rome?""A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things, decided that the Jews are not responsible for the crucifixion ofJesus."Mrs Finkelstein raised her eyebrows. "Indeed? And who is responsible, then?""I'm not sure," said Mrs. Moskowitz. "I think they suspect the Puerto Ricans."

    Excerpted from the Columbus Dispatch, (compiled by Accent staff) 5/15/91:

    "Accent asked students at Columbus' Beck School, and Dublin's Chapman
    Elementary to study a list of 20 axioms with the key words missing."

    -If you can't stand the heat, get a Pool.
    -If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven.
    -A bird in the hand is messy.
    -Don't count your chickens, eat them.
    -You can't teach an old dog new math.
    -When in Rome, do Roman numerals in math.
    -When in Rome, do bulls run around town?
    -Too many cooks, so little meals.
    -A fool and his money are my best friends.
    -A penny saved is one cent.
    -Look before you run into a pole.
    -A watched pot never disappears.
    -A rolling stone makes you flat.
    -A rolling stone is a singing rock group.
    -Every cloud has a wet spot.

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