Planes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Southwest Knows Best...

    Hot 5 years ago

    A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Norfolk to Las Vegas. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said that she had. Smiling, she then said, "Tell your Mother that Southwest always pulls out on time."

    Haircut before Trip

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?""We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.So, where are you staying in Rome?""We'll be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of more...

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

    Baby planes

    Hot 2 years ago

    A mother and her son were flying' Southwest Airlines' from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

    The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

    The stewardess asked,' Did your mother tell you to ask me?' He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said,' Tell your mother that its because Southwest always pulls out on time.'

    1. They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.
    2. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
    3. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
    4. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.
    5. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
    6. Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
    7. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
    8. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
    9. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
    10. You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."
    11. No movie. Don't need one.
    12. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
    13. You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
    14. All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

  • Recent Activity