Imperial Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    As you know by now, in 1997 we shall all be a single community, with a single business market, and to facilitate the most productive and efficient use of working hours within the EU, plans are now well under way to implement the decimalisation of time. The old imperial system of 60 seconds to a minute, 24 hours to a day and 7 days to an imperial week is ridded with inconsistencies and is naturally therefore confusing and in urgent need of reform.
    The new system, to come into effect on June 1 st 1997, is to be called 'Eurotime' and will offer a vastly simplified 'decimalised' time programme, with 10 Euroseconds to the Eurominute, 10 Eurominutes to the Eurohour, 10 Eurohours to one Euroday and 10 Eurodays to one Euroweek. Further to this, there will be 10 Euroweeks to one Euromonth and ten Euromonths to one Euroyear. Decades will remain unchanged.
    As the new Euroyear will be composed of ten as opposed to twelve months, it is proposed that the months be completely standardised more...

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English expatriates.
    Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
    Why did ''they'' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
    Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
    So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used more...

    The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
    Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
    So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever more...

    The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And more...

    The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8. 5 inches. That's an
    exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in
    England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
    Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the
    same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
    Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs
    and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
    Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other
    spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the
    spacing of the old wheel ruts.
    So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by
    Imperial Rome for the benefit more...

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