Roads Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using more...

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    GEORGE W. BUSH
    I don't think I should have to answer that question.
    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
    crossing the road represented the application of these two different
    functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
    services to the American people.
    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
    unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
    habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
    of a gas-guzzling SUV.
    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
    order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
    certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
    JERRY more...

    You Know You're From a Small Town When...
    The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.
    The local phone book has only one yellow page.
    Third Street is on the edge of town.
    You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.
    You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.
    No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
    You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
    Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.
    The city limits signs are both on the same post!
    The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.
    The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.
    The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.
    Second Street is in the next town more...

    Political Chickens

    Hot 2 years ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the' 'black man'' in order to trample him and keep him down.

    The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,' 'Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

    L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

    Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

    Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

    Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

    Martin Luther King, more...

    Pennsylvania Jokes

    Hot 2 years ago

    Pennsylvania Road System Slogans
    1. If you can build a better highway, we`d like to see it!
    2. Potholes.... Shmotpoles!
    3. Highway numbers go to the highest bidder!
    4. Land of 10, 000 potholes.
    5. We don`t repair roads, we destroy them!
    Bumpy roads, tale me home, to the place I belong,
    Pennsylvania, land of potholes, take me home.
    I hear the car as it rattles down the highway,
    Each bump tearing at its springs and shocks.
    And each thump and groan reminds me,
    The garage bill is coming soon some day.
    You know you`re from Pennsylvania if...
    You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
    You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
    You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
    You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
    You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled more...

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