Forever Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mick & Moe

    Hot 1 year ago

    Mick and Moe were arrested for smoking dope; they appeared in court on Friday. After hearing the charges against them, the judge said, "You seem like nice young men.... and this is your first offense. I'm going to give you both a second chance. Rather than wasted time in jail, you could be of great value to our community. Go out this weekend and explain to others the evils of drug use.... try to convince them to give up drugs forever! Be back in this same courtroom on Monday at 9 o'clock sharp."
    Monday, the two reappeared before the judge. "How did you do over the weekend?" he asked of Mick. "Well, Sir, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
    "Seventeen! That's wonderful!" What did you tell them?" asked the judge. "I used a diagram, your Honor," explained Mick. "I drew two circles; I told them' the big circle is your brain before drugs; the small circle is your brain after drugs.' "
    "That's more...

    Punctuation Changes!

    Hot 5 years ago

    Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
    Dear Thomas,
    I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours?
    Maria
    Dear Thomas,
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,
    Maria

    Talking Frog

    Hot 4 years ago

    My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
    "Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
    Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
    Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

    RTP Genie

    Hot 7 years ago

    Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
    "I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
    The Wolfpack says, "I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile."
    With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.
    The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city."
    Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, "POOF" there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.
    The Blue Devil says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
    The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
    The Blue Devil says, more...

    On your skateboard

    Hot 1 year ago

    Dave, John and Sam were involved in a horrific car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven, Saint Peter came up to them and said,
    'You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds and will have your transport chosen accordingly'
    Saint Peter looked at Dave.
    'You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times. For this you will drive around heaven in an old, beat-up Skoda.'
    Next Saint Peter looked at John.
    'You were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this you will forever travel through heaven in a Lada station wagon.'
    Saint Peter finally looked at Sam.
    'You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex before marriage and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari.'
    A short time later, John and Dave pulled their cars next to Sam's Ferrari and there he is, more...

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