Payment Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There was a man who

    Hot 5 years ago

    There was a man who computed his taxes for 1997 and found that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:Dear IRS:
    Enclosed is my 1997 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029).This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election Fund', as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a '1.5 inch screw'. (See attached article - HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and 'screwdrivers'.Sincerely, I. Getscrewed Everyear

    Truly stupid people

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He`s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.

    They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on.

    Remember it`s all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...

    Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from more...

    A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totalling a substantial amount of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill was still outstanding.
    The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying "We are unable to ship your new order until payment is received for the last one."
    The following day, the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We are unable to wait that long."

    All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.
    Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it but I don't think we can afford it."
    The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months."
    Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, "Who told you about us?"

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