Paul Jokes

A American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino
American: use my name four times in a sentence
Filipino: Paul be carePaul you mightPaul in the swimmingPaul

(I got this one from my next door neighbor, who got it from his brother...)
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in
Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles
from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.
"Firstly, you work six days of the week, every day except Saturday. Your
primary duty is to help clear out the rubble, and dump it into the rock
quarry down the road. The work isn't easy, but you will get used to it.
Also, you are on KP duty on Friday nights."
Morning comes, and Paul goes to work. The work is hard, but he is strong
enough that it isn't a real problem.
However, by the time Thursday comes around, Paul is feeling kind of lonely.
With the nearest women 200 miles away, he can't imagine how the other miners
endure from day to day. So, he approaches the more...

10). Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips
9). Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.
8). Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
7). Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.
6). Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
5). The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.
4). Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere.
3). Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.
2). Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.
1). Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.St. Peter: Hi, what's your name? Paul: My name is Paul.St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Paul: 120K.St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money? Paul: I was a lawyer.St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name? Roger: My name is Roger.St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Roger: 60K.St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living? Roger: I was an accountant.St. Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name? John: My name is John.St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died? John: About $23,000.St. Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?

One day God was hanging out at the Pearly Gates with St. Paul.
"I need to find someone to run for president," he said after a while.
Attentive to his boss' needs, St. Paul started naming off a few
qualified candidates.
"Nah, I want that guy," he said pointing to a drunken Texas governor
pissing off a balcony.
"You've got to be kidding," said St. Paul, "Not only is he dumber than
a box of rocks, he's got drinking and drug problems."
"I don't care," said God, "This is the guy."
Perplexed, St. Paul asked, "What is the problem, Lord, art thou angry
with the Americans?"
"No," said God, "I made a bet with the Devil that I could get a
village idiot to run for president."
"But won't that work in the Devil's favor, oh Lord?" Paul asked.
"That's all right," said God, "he'll never take Florida."