Norwegian Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Mama, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I`m Norvegian?" "No, it`s because you`re NINETEEN."
So what`s the difference between a Norwegian and a canoe? Well, a canoe will sometimes tip.
So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that`s growing out of a rock. And there he is, he`s hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him certain death and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I`m here, Ole. It`s the Lord, Ole. Have faith. Let go of that bush and I will save you." Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there?"
"Hello? Funeral home?" "Yes?" "It`s Ole. My wife Lena died." "Oh. I`m sorry to hear that. We`ll send someone right away to pick up the body. Where do you live?" "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." "Can you spell that for me?" "How `bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"
In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY! You`ve been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Cut it out!" And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. They`re only jokes!" And the guy says, "I`m not talking to you, I`m talking to that little guy sitting on your knee!"
A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. They went into the living room first, said they`d like to have it in a pale green. Ole wrote something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the room. Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " Gren sida oop!" This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the house until they were finished. Finally, the husband couldn`t contain himself any longer, he had to find out what was going on. "I`m confused," he said. "Every room we`ve gone to, we`ve picked out a particular room color, you`ve written on a pad, then gone to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop! Now, I know a little Swedish and we didn`t choose green in any room. What`s going on?" "Oh!", said Ole, more...
Sven was buying his first TV. He went into the furniture shop where Ole worked as a salesman. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven said. "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes" Ole said. Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. He bought himself a very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned a new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Hey, man, be cool. I really dig that TV there. How much you want for it, cat?" Sven asked. Ole didn`t pause in his response. "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes!" Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. He went to a neighboring city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. He came back to the furniture shop. "Howdy, partner, I`d sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, wa-ja say?" Sven asked. Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don`t sell TV`s to Svedes!" Sven stepped back, ripped off his more...