Norwegian Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, OK." Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn`t get the rest of the instructions. He says to more...
We've heard the Redneck and Cajun versions - nor for Norwegian, yah?01. BYTE: how Lena stops Ole's advances.02. LOG ON: dats how ya make da vood stove hotter.03. LOG OFF: vhat Sven vas trying to do vhen he burnt his hands terrible.04. MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove.05. MEGAHERTZ: ven a big log drops on your foot.06. COMPACT DISK: vhat ya get from lifting logs dat's too heavy.07. FLOPPY DISK: vhat da lefse looks like vhen it's cooked yust right.08. RAM: da hydraulic ting dat makes da voodsplitter vork.09. DRIVE: how you get home ven da snow's not too deep.10. HARD DRIVE: dat's vhen you're going to Madison vhen da snow's deep.11. PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season.12. ENTER: vhen ya come on in!13. WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below out.14. SCREEN: vaht ya gotta have in blackfly season.15. CHIP: vhat ya munch on during da Packer's game.16. MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bottom of da bag vhen da big ones are gone.17. MODEM: vhat ve did to da hayfields more...
Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink Ill just take da bus."
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely, he grumbled: "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!
Ole wore both of his winter jackets when he painted his house last July. The directions on the can said "put on two coats".