Norwegian Jokes / Recent Jokes

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it.The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. more...

Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper. As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes.Ole: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven?Sven: Dat sign dere says "Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High." Dis here camper is t'irteen feet!Ole: Cripes almighty Sven, dere ain't no cops around. Yust hit da gas pedal and go for it!

A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. They each got to choose which way they would die. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The same thing happened to the dane. Then they asked the swede how he wanted to die. "I think I`ll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn`t work anyway," he said.

So, Sven and Ole are bungee-jumping one day. Sven says to OLe, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." Ole thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they`ll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Sven jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Ole notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole isn`t able catch him, Sven falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again,Ole misses him. Sven falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he`s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too more...

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". And Sven says "I`ve never heard of that Ole, how`s it work?" And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn`t that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down."

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?" Lena: "In da lake."